Threads of Awakening:
A MULTIDIMENSIONAL Map of the Spiritual Journey
By Pierce Salguero
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THE EMPTINESS THREAD

This first thread comprises a cluster of spiritual, mystical, or religious experiences that relate to the emptying out, the deconstruction, and the dereification of progressive levels of experience. The basic dynamic here is that experiences that previously seemed to be unquestionably real are one by one seen to be nothing more than a construct created by the mind. Some common traditional terms for the experiences associated with this thread are kensho, satori, jhana, samadhi, nirodha, nirvana, sunyata, anatta, and so forth. In English, people speak of nonduality, spaciousness, nonexistence, nonreality, nondifferentiation, subject/object collapse, loss of self, and other terms.

The specific language people use to talk about this thread’s experiences and insights may depend on which background, beliefs, and practice community they are coming from. This thread is prioritized in Advaita Vedanta, Theravada Buddhism, Zen, and other traditions that focus on meditation and self-inquiry as the principal spiritual practices. But the opening of any thread can happen totally spontaneously, even to someone with no spiritual practice or religious context whatsoever. For example, with this thread, it might happen while undergoing a traumatic experience, as the result of certain types of introspection, or even as a sudden out-of-the-blue realization.

Each of the threads typically opens or begins with a notable experience. In this case, the initial opening of the emptiness threads almost invariably involves seeing through the typical sense of self that most people take for granted (usually called the “narrative self” or “separate self”). There may be a gradual process of deconstruction as the self is slowly eroded away, or it may feel like a dramatic breakthrough when a large part of the self structure suddenly collapses. If one has no context for this kind of experience, it may be overwhelming, confusing, or frightening. Sometimes, people assume that they’re having a mental health crisis or spiritual emergency. However, if one already has, or can acquire, some helpful context for this type of experience, one may accept this event as the beginning of a journey of exploring and deepening into the deconstruction and dereification of all things. 

If this type of experience turns out to be epiphenomenal for you, such insights may never arise again, or perhaps they will repeat but won’t develop into anything very meaningful or life-changing. On the other hand, if it is truly the opening of a thread, then by definition this will become the beginning of a new trajectory of transformation. Your life will be thoroughly changed in light of what you discover. These transformations will not just be about understanding and deepening into the ramifications of the initial event, but also about a continuous shift over time in the baseline of your daily experience as you take in the insights and realizations this thread has to offer.

Once a thread’s trajectory has begun, this deepening might be experienced as a straightforward process, but just as often it can feel like two steps forward, one step back. Or, you might leap forward to a very deep place on this thread only to bounce back again, yo-yoing up and down the thread as you traverse the same territory multiple times. I’ve written these chapters in a more sequential fashion, but the advantage of a map focused on processes is that we do not have to worry at all about discrete steps and stages. Things can be fluid and messy. We can simply say that, if this is truly a thread for you, then over the long term, you will notice a general movement toward of deepening further and further down the thread. 

Leaning into this deepening process intentionally might involve Vipassana or Zen meditation, Advaita-style inquiry, or other practices that deconstruct specific conceptual objects (i.e., other reified ideas aside from “the narrative self”) in a targeted way. But it’s not only formal meditation: you might use any kind of technique that emphasizes paying attention closely to phenomenal experience and curiously scrutinizing exactly how it all works. On the other hand, some people don’t need structured practice. They find that they can just “sink into” or “sit with” whatever experience they are currently having and the deconstruction process will happen naturally and effortlessly. Still other people find themselves moving down this thread spontaneously with little or no practice whatsoever. Such things are surprisingly divergent from person to person.

In my opinion, one effective way of enhancing the deepening of any thread is to reflect on a central guiding question that lies at its very core. Each thread has its own question, an inquiry or koan that goes to the heart of what the thread is all about and thus is perfectly calibrated to carry you through to the end of that trajectory. Different people may discover different versions of the question work best for them, using the language or vocabulary that suits them. My version of the central question for the emptiness thread is: 

What still seems real, actual, or present — and is it really that way?

How exactly the deepening of this thread unfolds will be different from person to person. But for most people, the initial falling away of the narrative self that opens up this thread reveals an underlying consciousness or non-personal awareness that seems to be witnessing all phenomena. It seems that this awareness has been present throughout one’s life, but has been obscured by an identification and fusion with the narrative self. Discovering this underlying awareness or consciousness is an amazing and liberating moment. One will often feel huge surges of bliss and joy, and many people will believe that they have become fully enlightened right on the spot. 

However great it feels, it is critical to realize that this is only the first step in a very long thread, and not to get overly enthusiastic or prideful. Sooner or later your system will settle back down into a “new normal.” Most people at that point will experience a big letdown and start chasing after another big experience. Remembering that progressing down a thread is not about the peak experiences themselves, but rather the shifting baseline, can be helpful.  

Upon initial awakening to the awareness underneath all experience, it can seem as though I am “me” having a momentary experience of being the witnessing awareness. However, over time, awareness is increasingly foregrounded and the identity as the narrative self becomes less and less prevalent. Eventually, you may find that identity gravitates over to awareness and affixes there in a more stable way. Now, I am the vast, unbounded awareness or consciousness that occasionally has an experience of being little old “me.” In other words, the gross conceptual object called “me” is gradually being emptied out. Continuing down this trajectory, eventually the very idea of “me” ceases to be meaningful at all.

It’s not only the narrative self that is seen through in this way. In time, as you sink into the emptiness thread, other fundamental structures begin to collapse and dissolve as well. For most people I’ve spoken with, the deconstruction of perception is a major part of this process. What your mind previously glossed over quickly with the concept of “tree,” for example, is upon closer examination revealed to be made up of thousands of points of color and light. What previously was quickly registered by the mind as “traffic noise,” likewise, is perceived to be a symphony of individual tones and timbres. As the conceptual overlays drop away and the underlying sensory phenomena are seen in what appears to be a less filtered way, objects seem more vivid and more alive than ever. It’s like you swapped out an old TV set with rabbit-ear antennas for a high definition plasma screen. The clarity and vibrance can be breathtaking. . . until this, too, becomes the new normal.

Continuing down this thread, more and more concepts are deconstructed and dereified. Each time there’s a period of dismantling, it’s usually followed by a period of fascination with what’s uncovered at the next level down. Releasing fixation after fixation can give rise to bliss, joy, peace, relaxation, and other positive sensations. Inevitably, however, after some time has passed, you realize that that this next level that has been revealed can itself also be deconstructed, and the process repeats itself like a cycle or spiral. Major landmarks in this thread’s trajectory include the deconstruction of “time” into a timeless “now” and the deconstruction of “place” into a placeless “here.” Major concepts that have had lots of meaningfulness attached to them — like “life and death,” “before and after,” “cause and effect” and “this and that” — are all seen through as reified constructs of the mind. 

Eventually, the subject/object distinction itself starts to be destabilized. Normally referred to as nonduality, this collapse can take place in one of two ways. The first, more likely to be spoken about in Advaita circles, is the collapse of the object into the subject. Sensory phenomena are seen to be made of awareness or inseparable from consciousness. The second case, more familiar from Buddhist descriptions, is the collapse of the subject. Awareness or consciousness is seen to be just another object or phenomenon. All phenomena seem to be taking place without any need for a witness.  

As this thread deepens further still, whichever pole was still left standing — subject or object — is also seen to be just another concept. When this happens, you begin to experience the whole of reality as precisely, exactly, simply what it is. There is just an eternal nowness/hereness/thisness/presence without any additional complexity added by concepts of space, time, subject, object, or any other overlays. It might seem like the work is done at this point, but even here, we can still apply the central guiding question of this thread. What still seems real, actual, or present? Is thisness actually even arising? Is “presence” actually even present? 

Once the deconstruction/dereification process has gotten to this level of granularity and has built up enough steam behind it, it is common to start experiencing the literal blinking out of all phenomena. These blackouts (often called “cessations” in Buddhism) are as devoid of awareness as deep sleep or anesthesia. Many people speak of these moments as being like a “reset” for the brain, which as the mind boots back up again reveals why reification is taking place in the first place. To me, however, one of the most important functions of a cessation is the final destabilizing of any the notion of a “background,” “ground of being,” or “underlying reality” of any kind. Even calling it “the void” is reifying what happens during a cessation too much. It is a complete and total lack of experience or anything else. Oblivion.

As we approach the bottom of the emptiness thread, the dereification becomes pervasive. It seems that nothing arises anywhere, ever, nor arises to anyone. The nonarisingness of phenomena is uncanny, like one is living in a mirage-world that blinks out of existence any time you try to perceive it. There are sometimes sensory and even physical glitches as the body and mind have to figure out how to live and navigate a world that doesn’t seem to exist. Particularly if they shifted into this kind of state rapidly, some people may find themselves lost in nihilism, unable to find any motivation to involve themselves in work, family, or other ordinary tasks. But again, with time and with proper context, even this depth of emptiness becomes a new normal.

The furthest endpoint of each one of the threads results in the most all-consuming and totalizing version of the insights of the thread in question. In the case of the emptiness thread, one arrives at the point of complete nonexistence where nothing whatsoever can be said to exist. Even saying that “things are empty” seems to be reifying too much, suggesting that there are things that can be said to have an attribute of emptiness. The only plausible comment to make on reality would be complete silence; anything else is simply adding too much.

It is an inevitable feature of all the threads that, when you are immersed in them, they are utterly convincing that their perspective is ultimate truth, that this is the highest form of realization, and that this thread is the whole point of awakening. It is also common that the mind makes up all kinds of worldviews and ontological frameworks in order to try to make sense of these events. For example, deep in the emptiness thread, you might say something like, The ultimate truth is that all things are completely empty, unfindable, non-existent, non-arising, and it never could be otherwise.

We always put the insights of the thread we are enmeshed in up on a pedestal, and they always seem indisputably and obviously true. Attaining the realization that all things are empty seems to have been the whole point of the awakening process. However, as we will see in the pages to come, there are other threads with other lessons to teach us. The ultimate truth of emptiness is neither the best nor the only perspective.